Monday, November 14, 2011

15 years

15 years ago today, Dan and I woke our asses up early and headed to the hospital before the sun was all the way up. Maya was scheduled to be born by C-section, having been breech and “growth-bound.” We had tried something called a version a couple-few weeks before, but it was a miserable failure, due in no small part I’m sure to my unbearable tension. There is little doubt in my mind that if I had been older and more mature, her birth may have been very different. I was just barely 19 and scared out of my everlovin’ mind.

Well. You can’t change the past. She was born the way she was born and the result was the same. A baby. A family.

The day of her birth was in some ways, quite frankly, horrible. I have a violent vomitous reaction to things like codeine and morphine. Morphine is the first thing they give you after a C-section. I spent 12 hours after surgery vomiting and then dry heaving. Have you ever thrown up repeatedly after abdominal surgery? It hurts.

If I held Maya at all that day, it wasn’t for more than a minute. I cried that she wouldn’t know me and my mom chided me that of course she would. My mom questioned me again whether I was sure I wanted to give Maya her dad’s last name. Dan and I wouldn’t get married for another year and Maya was going to be on my mom’s insurance. She said she was worried that the insurance company might give her a hard time if the baby had a different last name. I told her she was full of shit. But I still loved her and she still loved me.

Maya was a fairly small baby at 5 pounds 14 ounces. I could tell immediately that she had her father’s Native American nose. She was a beautiful baby.

And now she is a beautiful 15 year-old. You would never know she was ever such a little baby. She is just about taller than me now (I’m 5’5”) and solid as all get out. Not overweight like me, just strong.

Strong and beautiful. You can’t ask for more than that. She’s got her issues. But chugging ahead full-steam.

Happy Birthday, my girl.


Ms. Moon said...

Ah well. All births are the way they are and we cannot predict or control them. Even if they are scheduled...
Happy birthday to that beautiful girl of yours. And to you, sweet mama. To you.

Petit fleur said...

Happy Birthday Maya (and Steph!)

I hope it is/was a fabulous celebration.

All This Trouble... said...

Happy belated to Maya! I always kinda wanted to have one really big baby and one tiny baby. And I did, with one regular sized one thrown in the middle for fun. I just wish the tiny one had come first, rather than last!