Tuesday, October 18, 2011

no wonder I'm tired when I wake up

I have this recurring dream that I'm in the passenger seat of a moving car, but no one is in the driver's seat. I'm trying like crazy to control the car and not kill myself or anyone else. This morning this dream was set on a winding mountain road and my son was in the backseat (I'm usually alone). I couldn't manage get myself into the driver's seat without risk of running the car off the road, so I just tried my damnedest to pull over and stop.

Next thing I knew, we were at a family gathering, only I didn't know half of the people there. I was getting very disgusted with that fact, but for some reason didn't just go introduce myself like a person should. I just sat there getting pissed off and eyeing all these people that were collected in little groups, but not intermingling at all.

Next we were walking down a hallway, on the way to an art gallery, but the gallery was hanging an exhibit and we couldn't go in, so we decided to go to my friend Lori's house, but no one was home and I set off the burglar alarm.

.::.

Some years ago I told my mom about my recurring dreams of being in a moving car when no one is in the driver's seat (I've been having them since I was a kid). She thought it was a reflection of her as a single mother, struggling and failing to manage our lives. I really don't think that's it though. I think I just recognized from an early age that you can't control life. You can do your best to be prepared and able to react and cope, but shit is going to happen that you won't see coming.

(I imagine some people would interpret this dream as me needing to surrender control to God. Take the wheel, God. Isn't that a song? Yeah, sorry. I'm much more in the Random Shit Just Happens camp. Sometimes it works out better than others. Sometimes if you're lucky and your eyes are open at the right time, it's actually pretty freaking awesome.)

2 comments:

Denise Emanuel Clemen said...

Maybe you're the car and someone is trying to take control of you.
I love dreams and don't know jack shit about analyzing them, but I do remember a very good therapist telling me that dreams could be looked at from the exterior or the interior.
Mostly I don't remember my dreams and think it's a privilege when I do. It's always interesting, right?
Sleep well.

Petit fleur said...

Hmmmm.... I wonder what Mr. Jung would say???

I have no clue, but it is fascinating to read, although sounds scary as hell too.

Hang in and tell yourself happy things before sleep.
xo