Sunday, February 13, 2011

06 to 09

I was looking for some photos to use for E's memorial and made the obvious mistake of opening the folder of pics from my baby shower in the spring of 2006. There were a few with Lori in there and I knew there were, that's why I say it was a mistake to look at them to begin with.

It's pretty small. I apologize for that but I had to crop it for privacy reasons. She looked so pretty there (on the right), I think.

This is either morbid or self indulgent (or both) but I thought I'd compare it to her mug shot.

Somewhere along the line, something changed in her. She had mental health issues for her whole life, but so many people do... including me. What made it worse for her? I imagine it's just a matter of brain chemicals, but know it's not quite that simple.

I have a decision to make in the next few weeks. I don't know where she will be kept long term. She may end up in a prison several hours away from here or just down the road. If she does go up north (or anywhere very far away) I know I won't ever make the trip to go see her. If I want to see her or talk to her in person again, I may need to do it before sentencing in April.

Obviously, I have mixed feelings about it.

3 comments:

michelle said...

do yourself a favor

go see her

xoxoxo

Petit fleur said...

I think Michelle is right. We are all different, and that visit will likely be a haunting experience as well, but it may set your heart free at the same time.

Her mug has that look... the nobody's home look, or whoever is there is hidden away.

Bless you heart. I'll email you later.
xo

Sarcastic Bastard said...

She does look very pretty and serene in the baby shower photo. The change in her face is striking. I still don't see how they can say she is sane and have done what she did. She looks very disturbed in the bottom photo. Her eyes look mad (crazy).