Thursday, October 7, 2010

A tale of gross

I was in Austin’s room, which shares a wall with the kids’ bathroom, when I heard the distinct sound of a lot of vomit hitting a lot of surfaces that didn’t sound like the inside of the toilet.

I didn’t really want to, but I went to see what was going on. Poor Maya. She had made it to the bathroom, but hadn’t got the toilet lid up in time. It was all over the floor, her pants, the outside of the toilet and the bathtub, and somehow, the wall behind her. It was the goddamn magic bullet of puke.

And she wasn’t done yet.

I told her to take off her pants and stand in the tub to rinse off her legs, feet and hair. I hollered at Dan to get me a roll of paper towels and the gallon jug of Fabuloso! out of our bathroom – the bottoms of my feet were already slimy and I didn’t want to track it through the house.

I cleaned the floor just well enough for Maya to walk trough and let her out to go get clean pants. Then she went out to the living room and apologized to her dad (for throwing up – he told her she didn't have to apologize for being sick). I thought, but didn’t say out loud, that if she was going to apologize to anyone it should be me. I was the one cleaning it up!

Floor first, then toilet, then tub, then walls and vanity. Thankfully only a tiny bit hit the heat/ac vent in the floor. (I really like having the vents in the floor, until something nasty gets spilled in them.) After everything was wiped up and sanitized, all the paper towels went into a plastic grocery bag which made a substantial thud when I dropped it into the tub to be taken out to the trash later. Her clothes and the bathroom rug went into the laundry and I went outside to clean off the bottom of my feet by walking barefoot on the damp grass – I find that works quickly and well.

I found her a plastic bucket and told her if she needed to throw up again, please use the bucket. My personal preference is the garbage disposal side of the kitchen sink – less bending over and you don’t have to face the toilet bowl. If knowing that I have thrown up in my kitchen sink means you never want to come to my house for dinner, I will understand.


Mwa said...

Oh poor thing! Being violently sick is HORRIBLE!

And poor you for having to clean it up.

Ms. Moon said...

Oh bless your heart and Maya's too. Vomit is evil. But sometimes it must come out.
I know I am pushing my luck when I say this but I have lived in this house for almost seven years and never vomited once. I find this amazing. (I just knocked wood.)

Petit fleur said...

Sorry for Maya... and all concerned. Hope she's feeling better soon.

RE: Puking in the kitchen sink... Once my MIL told a story of how she used to wash her feet in this beautiful glass salad bowl. The one we had just eaten out of. I've been broken in proper.

Elizabeth said...

We have never been a vomit kind of family, thank god. I'm sorry that you had to go through that. Now that I've said what I said, there in the first sentence, I'm off to knock wood.

All This Trouble... said...

Poor both of you! The worst is when it comes out of your nose. Like fire, it is! Ugh!

I like buckets for puking. I'd puke in the sink too. I'd puke anywhere I needed to!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

I love "Magic Bullet of puke"! Wish I had thought of it first. Laugh.

Poor Maya. I hate to puke.

Bethany said...

oh hahaha, your last line, made me laugh laugh laugh. Hope your girl is feeling better super fast.
You are a sweet mama!

Steph(anie) said...

Maya is her usual puke-free self these days... thanks for all the well wishes!