Tuesday, May 25, 2010

my horizon

That right there is the color of the sky right now. I don't have my camera, I just used the color picker in photoshop to make that... it's the RGB color #6699FF for any of you who are familiar with that sort of thing, as I have to be for work.

.::.

Yesterday when I got home from work Austin was asleep on the couch. He is working on outgrowing his naps, but it is hard work. If he doesn't nap, the afternoon becomes very difficult. If he does nap, waking up in sufficient time to not sabotage our night's sleep is VERY difficult.

I used to have a no-waking-him-during-nap-time policy. If his body was telling him to sleep, LET HIM SLEEP. But last week that backfired on me worse than it ever had before, and I ended up getting only about 3 or 4 hours sleep one night before going to work. I'm too old for that shit.

So last night we woke him for dinner. And he cried and cried and leaned on me and wanted to be held and cried some more. Sometimes I think any and all anxiety that boy has during the day gets bottled up until I get home. And then he sees me. He sees soft, comfy mama and it all gets let loose.

He never really did eat his dinner. We went out to swing on the swingset and ended up having an impromptu picnic of wheat crackers, swiss cheese, blueberries and banana with water to drink. We listened to the birds and the wind rustling the leaves on the trees. We watched the sky turn color and discovered bugs on our blanket. Maya joined us for a few minutes before going to her room to play quietly by herself. The splotchy redness drained from Austin's face and we breathed with the earth and felt our weight on the living ground. It was good.

3 comments:

Petit fleur said...

What beautiful words and visual. Glad you're drinking in those precious mommy moments.

Mwa said...

We had the couch-waking up thing yesterday. I hate waking up my children. It feels cruel, even when it's necessary.

Bethany said...

ah.