Thursday, March 11, 2010

domesticates

Sometimes when my mom and I are talking, she will apologize for going on and on about her house. She and I both spend more time and money on our homes than on our persons. No fancy clothes. No trips to the spa or manicurist. Back when she was still coloring her hair, I did it for her. But now it’s gone all silver, and looks beautiful.

But we both have 10 times more quilts than beds to put them on. Shelves of tablecloths. Walls full of paintings (her), photos (me) and textiles that we buy for the sole purpose of hanging them so we can look at them (and I like to touch them, too).

About 16 years ago, one of my cousins, Jason, died in a car accident. He was in his early twenties and had been partying. In a truck full of wild, drunken bachelors, only one survived. At the time, I thought back on the last time we had seen Jason and remembered how my mom and her sister (not Jason’s mother) had been going on and on about their houses. They had made a trip to their favorite antique mall and were talking about their haul and how everything would be put to use. And remembering that day after my cousin was removed from life support, I was very judgmental of my mom and my aunt. I thought they were so superficial! Going on about material things and all the while it was the last time any of us would see Jason. Not that we could have possibly known that at the time.

But now I have my own house and my own kids. The world is a scary place where terrible things happen every day that we have no control over. Hopefully those terrible things don’t happen to your kids. Hopefully those terrible things don’t happen in your house. Hopefully, your house is full of things that bring comfort and beauty. Hopefully, your house is a safe place where good memories can be created and shared. Plates that are used every Thanksgiving. Decorations that are seen every December. Things like these set the scene for the people you love and who love you.

I get it now. And there's no need to apologize.

6 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

Amen.

michelle said...

My house is my favorite place on the planet. I love the way it feels and I love the way it looks. It feels safe. It's home

Sarcastic Bastard said...

You are very wise, Steph.

You are also loved.

SB

Petit fleur said...

Good post.

Sorry about Jason...

xo
pf

Darcy said...

"plates that are used every thanksgiving" is such a sweet sentence...my mom's plates for special events make me feel safe and like i'm home.

Bethany said...

Right on.
Love this.