Thursday, February 11, 2010

It's Alright

Time to lighten things up around here. I don't mean that I feel obligated. I mean that I feel lightness coming back. I've recovered the spring in my step and the swagger in my hips in the last few days.

I have been greiving. And I don't think I'm done. But something big happened today. I was able to remember something about Lori and feel the happiness of it. For all these months, memories even of happy times felt like a knife in my heart. Today, I found myself asking the universe if it was okay to feel happy about a memory of Lori. And that felt HUGE. I know the sadness isn't gone for good. But this bit of something on the other side of the light/dark spectrum is like a life preserver in the middle of the ocean, so very welcome to my tired arms.

++++

Big Head Todd and the Monsters - It's Alright.

This song came on the radio and I wanted to dance. It's from a record called Sister Sweetly, so, yeah.

2 comments:

Bethany said...

Yes for sure your grieving and it seems like such a complicated grief. So glad you felt some lifting, some hope.
Hang in there girl.

Ms. Moon said...

As Bethany said so wisely- this is a complicated grief. It's going to take a long time but it's nice when you have a little moment of lightness.