Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I do.

And just like that, we were married. I cried through the whole ceremony. My mother wasn’t there, just as I wasn’t at her wedding four years prior. My now late, then future, father-in-law walked me down the aisle. My one year old daughter laughed and kicked.

My mom should be here. This isn’t right. What am I doing?

I was just past 20. Maya was just past one. Dan was sneaking up on 28. I changed out of my $20 “wedding dress” from Ross in the chapel bathroom. Stepped out and fixed Maya a bottle before the wedding party braved the Reno snow to find a place to have dinner.

That first year almost killed us. Then again 2007 almost killed us. I am not easy to live with. Neither is Dan. Which of us is less easy to live with is open to interpretation, I’m sure. But we are a match. A pair. Two of a kind, working on a full house, as the song says.

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. I don’t know how to be married. I’m learning on the job. Being raised by a single, independent, very intelligent, sometimes angry woman will do that to you. Add to that our seven and a half year age difference and my lack of… experience (I was a virgin when I met him and he... wasn't), well it’s nothing short of a god damn feat that we’ve made it this far.

I don’t know how to be married. After 12 years I have learned A LOT. But I am still learning.

Wish us a happy anniversary (tomorrow).

6 comments:

Petit fleur said...

Happy Happy Anniversary darlings!!

None of us knows how to be married. Life is just one big science project. Relationships? ha! Forgetabout it! Sounds like if you've managed for 12 years and everyone still has their limbs then you're doing great!

Have a fabulous day!

Bethany said...

Good for you.
Learning as you go.
And good for you for hanging in there.
Happy Anniversary!!!!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

A VERY HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to you both! Marriage is hard work.

Love you tons.

Mwa said...

Happy anniversary!

You must be doing something right, to last that long. ;-)

May said...

Happy Anniversary, you sweet thing! I love you!

adrienne said...

happy happy happy, my dear love!