Tuesday, January 5, 2010


My lime tree. Chewed through and left to waste by a gopher.

I think I'm more upset about this damn tree than I've ever been about any pet I've ever lost.

It's not just this tree. How I'm I ever supposed to have the garden of my dreams if those evil little bastards can take down a whole tree in a matter of days. Last spring my first cantaloupe plant had a few nearly full grown melons on it and the fucking squirrels thought it was their own personal salad bar. Thing is, I don't even mind that much if they take the fruit, BUT NOT THE WHOLE MOTHERFUCKING TREE. Hell, I want almond and walnut trees BECAUSE the birds like them. I like birds. Just not the fucking squirrels, rabbits and gophers.

Dan promised to sit outside with his rifle until he kills me a gopher, and that didn't even make me feel better.

I mostly just want to pout, but I guess I have to be open to suggestions. So if you have any tips on how to prevent this from happening in the future, feel free to comment. Meanwhile I'm gonna go cry into my beer.

Shitty shit shit.


rachelbk said...

Cayenne pepper powder sprinkled everywhere around the plans you want to protect. I worked in a pet store, and people would come in trying to keep squirrels out of their birdfeeders. They sell a 'squirrel off' type product, but it is really just overpriced cayenee pepper.
(and it kept my dad's dog out of the trash too:)

adrienne said...

oh, steph!

i can't reach back into my pre-baby gardening days, but i feel certain there's all sorts of options, and dear god, ms moon will have a suggestion or two.

how do we live with these critters after we've completely ravaged their habitat while simultaneously creating a playground for them?

oh, how i love you, dear!

Steph(anie) said...

rachelbk - I'll try anything. Oh, and funny story, my aunt planted peppers to keep her dog out of her flowers, and her dog ate the peppers!

adrienne - I hear you about the habitat, but there are literally acres of unspoiled sagebrush just the other side of that wood pile, so their habitat hasn't been completely ravaged. Only halfway ravaged.

Ms. Moon said...

Despite what Adrienne said, I have no idea how to deter gophers. We do not even have them here. We do have gopher turtles, but they don't harm anything as far as I can see. They just hang out in their dens and get pissed off by all the flies that collect around them.
Seriously honey, this SUCKS and I would be crying in my beer too.
Try the cayenne pepper. Could work and it's cheap.

Petit fleur said...

Wow. That is depressing.
Blasted Varmits!

Hey, I'm just curious... why do you keep moving your blog around??


Steph(anie) said...

Ms. Moon - I can't help but wonder if the cayenne pepper will affect the taste of the fruit, but I sprinkled some around my new blackberry plant last night to give it a go. I'd like to see a picture of a gopher turtle... I'll google it.

PF - I've been channeling Elmer for days now. As far as why I moved my blog, again... the short answer is that I'm crazy. The long answer is that sometimes I write something (often about Lori) and then have second thoughts about putting it out there for the world, so I end up deleting my whole blog (after I archive it) and swear off blogs, for good this time! ;) But then I got to thinking about what blogs have meant to me especially blogs like Sweet|Salty and how grateful I am to those people for putting themselves out there and I then I think I should be brave and do that too. This one (unsweet mama) was one of the ones I had shut down some time back, and I really like the name of it and it is more sucinct than my most recent one, so... aren't you glad you asked? :)

Steph(anie) said...

PF cont. - I *think* I'm done moving around. But I am a Libra and decision making can be a bitch.

Mwa said...

That is TERRIBLE. Maybe you should move. The worst we seem to get is snails.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Sorry about your tree. That fucking sucks.

Bethany said...

Oh gosh, this made me want to bawl too. Try to keep on keeping on. Damn. :-(

uh I read once in a book to jsut try to talk nicely to the animals and ask them NOT to destroy your garden. It didn't work for e talking to the slugs last year, but can't hurt to TRY?
Throw a shovel at me if that just pisses you off more.

Petit fleur said...

Thanks for answering my question. You're not crazy either, you are a little quirky and you have character. That makes you interesting in my book!

When I was single, I moved (literally) more than anyone I know. So... anyway, thanks again for answering my question!

Steph(anie) said...

Mwa - moving has occured to me.

SB - sucky sucky sucky

Bethany - I could try being more like Snow White than Elmer Fudd. ah-AH-AH ah-AH-AH... [that was singing BTW]

PF - The least I could do!