Tuesday, April 21, 2009

drained

I am all empty. At therapy yesterday I poured my heart out and came out with an empty stomach. I was so hungry I couldn’t stand it. Today I feel like I have nothing to give. I want only to absorb. I will read some, and later I will go listen to a guest speaker at the college. He is a holocaust survivor. I expect it will be a very emotional experience.

I used to be a much more creative person than I am now. I was always making things with my hands. Now I’d rather go lie on the hammock, watch the trees and listen to the birds. I couldn’t find the camera this morning, and I wanted so badly to take a photo of the view from the hammock. Big tall trees, blue sky with wispy clouds, hummingbird feeder, wind chimes, and a wooden patio cover. In the morning you hear the sound of literally hundreds of birds, at night it’s the frogs and crickets. You can smell the perfume of the citrus blossoms, orange, lemon and lime. And there’s something about the feel of a string hammock. It almost massages a little.

I am so blessed that my very own backyard is becoming my place to go to. No need to visualize a deserted beach and palm trees. I’ve got a real picture that suits me much better.

2 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

Sometimes the best way to be creative is to be still. This may be that time for you.

Steph said...

Still. Yes. Corpse pose was always my favorite part of yoga. Especially when the teacher specifies each muscle group to relax. I need to get back to that.