Thursday, November 13, 2008

Party Pooper

I’m still at the party; I’m just hiding in the corner. While everyone else is trying to have fun paying off debt, I’m walking away from mine. I think. We haven’t actually filed for bankruptcy yet, but we’ve met with a lawyer and he doesn’t foresee any barriers. The only barrier I see is the 4-figure lawyer’s fee. As in, if I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t be in this situation to begin with.

.::.

Even when I omit the credit card payments, the budget doesn’t add up. Being so strapped wears me down. It makes me be not as nice as I want to be, bitchier than I need to be. It makes my body feel heavier, slower to move.

There’s too much month at the end of the money, and I blame myself. The only things I buy outside of necessities [food, gas, clothes for the kids] are DVDs and CDs and I admit to feeling entitled to that. I work full time at a good job and deserve some entertainment. We never go out. This trip to the zoo is a rarity, and I got the tickets at a discount through my union.

.::.

I got some “I’m so sorry,” type comments last time I wrote about this which was sweet and kind of surprizing. I know there are lighter days ahead. We always manage to get through these things.

I feel no shame in filing for bankruptcy; I only wish it were more affordable.

4 comments:

Elizabeth said...

If not far behind you, we're all behind you. Meaning bankruptcy is just around the corner for many of us. Hang in there...

I'm new to your blog and really enjoying it!

BOSSY said...

There's too much Month at the end of your money! Brilliant.

Kristen said...

I'm feelin' ya!! I love how you said it so well - that you feel physically weighed down by debt. I feel like that all the time too!! LOL Hang in...hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel. And from someone that has done the bankruptcy road in the past, I can say it was one of the BEST things I ever did!

Jen said...

Being shackled by debt sucks in a serious way. I feel for you. BTDT.